Is There an Elephant in Your Room?

Recently, I was asked by a colleague to facilitate a strategy session for a rapidly growing company. The day before the meeting, I met with him and with the business owner to review and prioritize items on the agenda.

The conversation led to an issue which had been on his mind for some time. It seems there were conflicts between two key team members which resulted in highly animated “discussions,” often in full view of other members of the team. The level of animosity was growing and was vexing to the owner. He was hoping this would come up for discussion during the strategy session under “organizational issues” so that the full team could weigh in on the distraction being caused by the two frequent combatants. Not an approach I endorsed, however, at the insistence of the owner, we went full steam ahead with this agenda item.

Despite being given every opportunity, the group steered away from this matter entirely. It seemed no one, including the owner wanted to take on “the elephant in the room.”

When quizzed about this following the meeting, the owner said he was not surprised. “We just don’t seem to want to talk about our problems here.” Sound familiar?

It’s not easy to have “uncomfortable” conversations whether one on one or in small groups. This discomfort comes mostly from a good place: that is, no one wants to damage relationships, cause embarrassment or hurt feelings. Yet, by leaving the matter unresolved, underlying tensions fester, often setting the stage for bigger problems down the road.

Conflicts are inherent in organizational life. Constructive disagreement and debate, done respectfully and skillfully can lead to more informed decisions and better outcomes. Overcoming the challenge that comes with difficult conversations is a skill. As with other skills, it can be learned, practice and improved upon. Taking the focus off the individual and on the behavior is a good place to start.

For tools that can help your team turn conflict into productive conversations, contact me at joe@ajstrategy.com

The preceding content was provided by a contributor unaffiliated with Printing Impressions. The views expressed within may not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of the staff of Printing Impressions. Artificial Intelligence may have been used in part to create or edit this content.